Friday, June 12, 2009

Real Life Experiences: Dealing with Landpersons

So we have this crazy landlady named Dorothy.

Of course, crazy is a term that needs to be qualified so that it can understood exactly what kind of crazy is being referred to. She's the kind of crazy person that tells REALLY long stories, and seems to have a repertoire of about 4 or 5 scenarios she customizes with names, places, and times to fit a convenient situation. For example, she told us the story about a guy who's mother never taught him to NOT lean back in chairs. He broke one of her dining room chairs as a result. Ryan informed us that she had already told him this story twice but with different rooms of the house and different offenders. She also told us how the previous tenants had expressed concern that their entire security deposit would be used to replace a single broken toilet seat. In fact, this was a hypothetical situation brought up by one of our friends in talking to Dorothy last month, not a previous tennant.

Describing people has never been my forte, but all I can say is that you've got to trust me on this one. Dorothy seems sweet enough, but that sweetness erodes as she leads you through the house on 2-hour walkthroughs to check for damage, or tries to explain how the stove doesn't work because there's so much grease. Over and over and over.

And then she tells you that she loves the fridge because it has traveled with her from California to Pennsylvania to Connecticut to Florida and back. She also loves its color, "Harvest Gold." (As one of us noted, we're not sure if having a well-traveled fridge is a good thing at all.)

Our lease term technically started on June 1st, but none of us were going to move in until this week. Despite the fact that is seems that she had a week to clean up everything, fix the upstairs bathroom, clean the oven, wipe the cabinets, change the furniture, remove the wire fencing and wax my bedroom floor, she has been around the house with little helpers all THIS week getting stuff done. What if we had to move in on June 1st? Would she have been LIVING there???

While we had considered presenting Dorothy with a list of grievances to outline our various frustrations, the arduous walkthrough last just left us wanting her out of our hair. She leaves the east coast on Monday for a magical world called "Arizona," and once she's gone, we don't have to worry about finding her sleeping on the dining room floor or eating a roast chicken outside on the lawn.

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